Not So Random Acts of Kindness

Did you hear about the unknown man in Arkansas who recently paid for the $139 grocery bill for a woman in line behind him? It was one of those stories that warms your heart. Read inspirational stories in the news.

I thought about this story again today as I was updating the Inconvenience Yourself™ website. This random act of kindness fits right in with the concept. My thoughts led me to think about additional acts of kindness which aren’t so random. Too bad more of those don’t make the news. However, that shouldn’t stop us from being kind to those we encounter.

In fact, I think we should look at our acts of kindness as planned and unplanned. Planned acts of kindness are those that we think about ahead of time and carry out with intent. They usually involve people you know, but not always. Unplanned acts of kindness are those that we perform because the opportunity presents itself. They may or may not involve someone you know.

What are some planned acts of kindness? My neighbor comes to mind. She was diagnosed with cancer last year and left Thanksgiving weekend to go to a cancer treatment center. She expected to be back by Christmas. Here it is, February 22, and she isn’t home yet. Fortunately she has some wonderful friends. One stops by every day and feeds and plays with her cats. Another comes by every day to pick up mail and forward what is important. Other neighbors keep an eye out on her property. These are ongoing acts of kindness.

Another example of a planned act of kindness, which involves strangers, is smiling. A good friend of mine mentioned that with all the things we are going though in this country - the economy, people losing their jobs and homes, etc. - she now makes it a point to smile at everyone she encounters while grocery shopping. She finds that most people smile back. I just read the story of a woman whose day turned positive because someone smiled at her. Read her story.

What about unplanned acts of kindness? This can be helping someone at the grocery store get something from an upper shelf, holding a door, or picking up something from the floor and returning it to the person who dropped it. I find these opportunities are all over the place and often seem like they are trivial. However, they are usually a pleasant surprise to the person on the receiving end and result in a smile and “thank you”.

While random acts of kindness are great, planned acts of kindness that we don’t read about in the newspaper are extra special.



Share your own act of kindness story. We would like to hear about and share your experiences and ideas that fit into the Inconvenience Yourself™ concept.

A Good Neighbor

This morning I went rollerblading to get some exercise. I left on my usual route in the neighborhood. Blading in my neighborhood means I can put on all my safety gear and go out the front door - no car involved. The down side to my street route is that I have to be very careful about traffic, including people backing out of their driveways.

This morning I want to thank one of my neighbors, though we have not met. As I was blading I saw a car several houses ahead begin to back out of a driveway. The car stopped before actually reaching the street. I cautiously moved to the other side of the street. I was afraid the driver had paused for some unknown reason, didn't see me and would continue backing out without much time for me to get out of the way. I was wrong. The driver had seen me and waited patiently while I went by. This may not sound like much, but to those of us who get our exercise using the streets, it is big. This driver waited for me for at least a minute. Sit in your car for a minute when you are on your way somewhere - it seems much longer. This same person actually drove slower than the speed limit while passing me moments later. This was another surprise as many drivers in my neighborhood are exceeding the speed limit.

Many thanks to my kind neighbor - whoever they are. You probably never heard of Inconvenience Yourself™, but you are living it.

Earth Day and Inconvenience Yourself™

Inconvenience Yourself™ is a great fit with Earth Day on April 22. There are many things you can do to celebrate Earth Day. Pick one or more from the list below. Celebrate all week and pick an earth friendly project for each day of the week, or come up with an idea of your own.

• Carpool or take public transportation to work


• Take a walk in your neighborhood and pick up trash


• Run the dishwasher and washer only when full


• Stop junk mail www.proquo.com


• Save energy by adjusting the air conditioner a couple of degrees


• Turn off and unplug appliances not being used


• Use less water by taking a shorter shower and not running water continuously as you brush your teeth or shave


• Take your own bags when shopping


• Dry your clothes on a close line instead of using the dryer


• Donate items in good condition you no longer use rather than throwing them away


• Walk or ride a bike to run errands instead of driving


• Schedule an energy audit with your power company


• Avoid long idling times in your car - park and go inside instead of using the drive through


• Sign up for electronic billing and eliminate paper statements


• Catch water in a container as you wait for it to get hot and use to to water plants


• Wrap your water heater in an insulated blanket

For more on Inconvenience Yourself™ go to http://www.inconvenienceyourself.com/

Save Money Through Inconvenience Yourself™

George was an early supporter of the Inconvenience Yourself™ way of living. He is also the Executive Director of the Florida Speakers Association. When my annual association fee came due recently, I faxed George the form with payment information. The following day I received an email from him which was not the receipt I was expecting. Instead, it was a note letting me know that due to my status with the National Speakers Association, the dues would be $50 dollars less.

George could have processed the form as it was sent in, at the higher rate. I would not have known the difference. Instead, he provided a great example of Inconvenience Yourself™ - he took the time to verify my status, adjust the rate and send me a note. Thank you George, I will put the $50 to good use!

Inconvenience Yourself™ shows up in my life every day. How does it show up in your life? For more information go to www.InconvenienceYourself.com Send your stories of how someone helped save you money or other Inconvenience Yourself™ story to http://inconvenienceyourself.com/submit.html .

Inconvenience Yourself™ While Driving

One topic that comes up often in conversations about Inconvenience Yourself™ is driving (and parking) habits. This seems to be an area that irritates many people - other people's driving habits (not their own). How does driving have anything to do with Inconvenience Yourself™? The Inconvenience Yourself™ concept centers around the idea of not taking away from others' lives through our own actions and being respectful of ourselves, each other, and the world in which we live.

It doesn't take much time spent in traffic to see people changing lanes or turning without using their turn signals, or running stop signs or going through red lights. One of my favorites (i.e. pet peeves) - the driver who suddenly finds himself in the wrong lane. Many of these drivers seem to think there are only two options: 1. immediately go across all lanes of traffic cutting other people off without seeming to care about their own safety, nevertheless the safety of others; or 2. slow down until they are barely moving waiting for an opportunity to head in the intended direction, causing everyone else behind them to have to slow down without warning. There is at least one other option. What about continuing on the current road until you find someplace to turn off and go back to where you intended to be? This could be the next street, or a shopping center, or yes, the next exit on the highway. Reduce the stress in the lives of drivers around you (not to mention your own) by eliminating one unsafe event in the day - choose alternative 3. Give other drivers time back in their day by not making them slow down to wait while you correct your mistake. My thanks to those of you who already incorporate this latter option into your driving. It is difficult to thank you personally as you go unnoticed - you don't interrupt my day or impose on my time or risk my safety. Thank you!

There are many more Inconvenience Yourself™ opportunities when driving or parking the car. A few of them are:

• When parking the car, use a space farther away and leave the closer ones for others. You know the feeling when you find the parking space close to where you want to go - the "it's my lucky day" feeling, it may even make you smile. Give that feeling to someone else by parking farther away. Not only will someone else have a "lucky day", but you will have an opportunity for a pleasant walk.
• If you find yourself on a road with multiple lanes, stay to the right so others travelling at a faster speed can use the left lane to easily go around.
• When you need to change lanes and use your turn signal to indicate your intent, don't assume that the other traffic needs to slow down to allow you to move over. Plan ahead, look for an open space and move over when you safely can.
• Only use a handicapped parking space if you need it and have the proper permit.
• Clearly marked fire lanes and no parking zones are not intended for stopping or parking. If you are waiting in a running car for someone who will only be gone for a couple of minutes - wait in a place where the car is out of the way of people entering and exiting the parking area or store.
• Don't stop or park in the marked crosswalks requiring pedestrians to walk around you.
• If you pass by an open parking spot and realize that there are no others close by, don't expect cars behind you to back up to accommodate you.
• Don't use a cell phone that is not hands free or if the conversation negatively affects your driving.
• Leave 5 minutes earlier so you don't have to consider running stop signs or going through red lights to arrive on time at your destination.

Based on quick and often animated responses to this topic, there are many people who have pet peeves related to driving and how the inconsiderate actions of others take away from their lives. What are your driving and parking pet peeves? Do you avoid doing these things yourself?

Inconvenience Yourself™ is a broad concept - a way of living. More information can be found at http://www.inconvenienceyourself.com/. You can submit your own Inconvenience Yourself™ stories (whether related to driving or another topic) at http://www.inconvenienceyourself.com/submit.html.

The Day After

Yesterday was Inconvenience Yourself™ Day. I sent an email to people who were interested in Inconvenience Yourself™ where I committed to four things to celebrate the holiday. Thought I should provide an update of how I did. Here are the commitments:

1. Send a thank you note.
2. Take a walk in my neighborhood and pick up trash I see.
3. As I run errands, park farther away leaving closer parking spaces for others.
4. Spend time at the end of the day reflecting on what other people did for me today.

The results:

1. I wrote a note to a friend who has been supportive and encouraging in my Inconvenience Yourself™ concept.
2. I ended up with a full grocery bag of recycling and almost a full bag of trash from a 15 minute walk.
3. This was not applicable. My errands were postponed so I will honor this commitment next time.
4. What a great way to end my day - positive thoughts that reinforced that there are good people out there. When I began thinking about my day I was surprised at how many positive moments I have due to the actions of other. I plan on regularly incorporating this reflection of the positive impact other have on my daily life in a personal journal as it made me feel good again!

Did any of this make a difference? I hope so. My neighborhood looks better. I enjoyed the fresh air of a walk, even while picking up trash - getting away from work and "home stuff" - an unaticipated benefit. Sending the thank you note reminded how many people do nice things for me and of the importance of taking time to let them know. The reflection time at the end of the day was positive and uplifting way to end my day. My Inconvenience Yourself™ Day celebration was a success!

Try a commitment of your own. I plan on committing to at least one thing every day. Today my commitment is to practice patience. More Inconvenience Yourself™ ideas can be found at http://www.inconvenienceyourself.com/

Happy Inconvenience Yourself™ Day!

With a redesigned website and the third annual Inconvenience Yourself™ Day today, it is time to launch the Inconvenience Yourself™ blog. If you haven’t seen the new website, please take a look at www.inconvenienceyourself.com. I am thrilled that many Inconvenience Yourself™ ideas that have been bouncing around in my head are represented on the website - publishing the kids page of the site was a major milestone. One of my hopes is that kids will be encouraged by each other, parents and teachers to incorporate the Inconvenience Yourself™ concept into their lives at an early age.

Over the last three years, many people have shared their Inconvenience Yourself™ experiences with me. If you haven’t read any of the stories, you can find some great examples of the Inconvenience Yourself™ concept at http://www.inconvenienceyourself.com/cgi/kids_stories.cgi (these stories involve kids) or http://www.inconvenienceyourself.com/cgi/adult_stories.cgi (stories that involve grownups). Please continue to share your Inconvenience Yourself™ anecdotes and ideas at http://inconvenienceyourself.com/submit.html.

I have an Inconvenience Yourself™ experience of my own to share today. I live in South Florida. You may have heard about the widespread power outage yesterday with millions of people were without power. Yesterday was a busy day for me personally - lots of last minute things to do on Inconvenience Yourself™ Day eve. Many of those things involved a computer. When word of the power outage was broadcast, I received two phone calls. One from my friend Dawn, offering to let me come to her house to work since she had power. The second call was my sister, Ann, who lives well over a thousand miles away. She knew how much I had to do and was calling to see if she could help remotely some way. Both of these people displayed the Inconvenience Yourself™ concept. Offering their help at such a critical time for me deserves much thanks. Thanks to both ladies, not only for their offers of assistance, but encourage and support in the Inconvenience Yourself™ concept!

Coming Soon: We are gearing up to launch a weekly email to share brief stories and inspirational ideas. It will also include ideas of how to incorporate Inconvenience Yourself™ into your own life. If you would like to sign up now for the weekly communication go to http://www.inconvenienceyourself.com/join_list.html.